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  • Telling Our Stories

Telling Our Stories

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Five decades ago, I was challenged to read the Moynihan Report (1965). Then and now, I take issue with much of the content, whichsmacks of deficit thinking, blaming the victim, and a blindness or almost total disregard for how systemic racism and socialinjustices contribute to family structures.I recall being professionally and personally offended by interpretations of single-parent families, which were often negative andhopeless. Moral development, criminal activity, poor educational outcomes, poverty, and apathy of many kinds were placedsquarely on the shoulders of these families, especially if the families were/are headed by Black mothers. Eurocentric and middleclass notions of 'real' families like those depicted on TV shows and movies dominate, then and now, what is deemed healthy in terms of family structures - with thepolemic conclusion that nuclear families are the best and sometimes only structure in which children must be raised.These colorblind, economic blind, and racist blind studies, reports, theories, and folktales have failed to do justice to the families in which there is one caregiver. Theirstories of woe and mayhem make the news and guide policies and procedures. The stories of children who have been resilient have been unheard and silenced, they havebeen under-reported and relegated to the status of 'exception to the rule'. Perhaps they are exceptions, but there are more exceptions than we may know.This book is designed with those stories of resilience and success in mind. The book is not an attempt to glorify single-parent families, but such families are prevalent andincreasing. High divorce rates are impactful. And some parents have chosen to not marry, which is their right. While not glorifying single-parent families, we are also notdemonizing them or telling their stories void of context. Yes, income will often be low(er), time will be compromised when divided between offspring, work, and otherobligations. Likewise, we are not glorifying two-parent families as being ideal, their context matters too. How healthy are married couples who don't really love or evenlike each other? How healthy are those parents who have separate sleeping arrangements/bedrooms? How healthy are those families who have oppositional parentingstyles and goals for their children?This is the 50th anniversary of the Moynihan Report, and I am concerned that another 50 years will pass that fails tobalance out the stories of single-parent families, mainly those whose children succeed and defy the odds so oftenunexpected of them. I agree with Cohen, co-author of the updated report: "The preoccupation with strengtheningmarriage as the best route to reducing poverty and inequality has been a policymaking folly". Further, 50 years afterMoynihan released the controversial report, The Negro Family: The Case for National Action, a new brief by theInstitute for Women's Policy Research (IWPR) and the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF) titled, "Moynihan'sHalf Century: Have We Gone to Hell in a Hand Basket?, " finds that the changes in family structure that concerned himhave indeed continued, becoming widespread among Whites as well, but that they do not explain recent trends inpoverty and inequality. In fact, a number of the social ills Moynihan assumed would accompany these changes in familystructure-such as rising rates of poverty, school failure, crime, and violence-have instead decreased. (see :http://www.streetinsider.com/Press+Releases/The+Moynihan+Report+at+50%3A+New+Report+Finds+that+the+Rise+of+Single+Mothers+Does+Not+Explain+Poverty+Rates+Fully/10344482.html)
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